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Anorgasmia: What If You Don’t Have Orgasms And What You Can Do To Fix It


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Sexuality is a major concern in people, regardless of their sex or gender. Generally, the cycle of sexual response ends at orgasm. Therefore, living in a hypersexualized society and not having orgasms assiduously seems a sacrilege. But is this really a problem?

Different studies show that the definition of orgasm is not easy, since it is something that is experienced in a very subjective way.

Broadly speaking, it can be said that it is a variable and transitory peak sensation of intense pleasure, which creates an altered state of consciousness accompanied by rhythmic and involuntary contractions of the pelvic muscles, with the induction of well-being and joy.

Any person who has experienced an orgasm can recognize it, even if the definition was different. But when it doesn’t happen, what happens?

We are facing an orgasm disorder. This is defined as the permanent or recurring difficulty, delay or absence of reaching orgasm after sufficient sexual stimulation, causing personal distress. It is what is known as anorgasmia or absence of orgasms.


Possible causes of anorgasmia

The causes can be very different from one person to another since psychological, cultural and physical factors influence orgasm.

Within the physical factors, we can find hormonal disorders, such as the decrease in testosterone levels, the influence of other medications (mainly SSRI antidepressants) or any injury or alteration of both the genitalia and the parts of the body involved in the sexual response (bone marrow injury or injuries to the muscles pelvic floor). Age or chronic diseases also play a role.

On the other hand, psychological factors, as in other sexual dysfunctions, are very present in anorgasmia. Specifically, depressive and anxiety disorders desire and arousal decrease.

In addition, negative previous sexual experiences, stories of abuse and mistreatment or traumatic experiences or losses.

Also, milder things such as the fear of letting go of anxiety about sexual performance, which taken to the extreme can make the person unable to reach orgasm by not avoiding these intrusive thoughts.

Finally, cultural factors can intervene. Among them, we find those that are interconnected with the present relationship, lack of communication or intimacy, insufficient erotic games, sexual encounters that end before the woman is aroused enough or relationship problems.

It is important to explain that there are also other cultural problems, mainly in the case of women, in which the sexual response is influenced by negative cultural conditioning over the centuries, scarce sexual education or a lack of sexuality. negative attitude towards sex.

But identifying the causes is not that simple. Anorgasmia, like most sexual dysfunctions, is usually not due to one factor only, but to a set of several at the same time.

In the same way, it does not usually appear alone, as it is usually accompanied by other dysfunctions. If one phase of the cycle is disturbed, others are decompensated. Therefore, the treatments are usually varied.

Is there a treatment?

The types of treatment depend largely on the causes of the anorgasmia. The most frequent are psychosexual and pharmacological treatments.

Pharmacological treatments depend, to a great extent, on each person. Among the most common, there is mainly the use of testosterone. Other drugs that are also used are phosphodiesterase 5 (PDE-5) inhibitors, as well as anxiolytics.

On the other hand, the most recommended option for anorgasmia caused by psychological and cultural factors are psychosexual therapies. As a starting point, we recommend sensory and sexual eroticization both in men and women with anorgasmia.

In the same way, it seeks to provide sexual information to counteract sexual myths and work on negative attitudes and thoughts. Self-stimulation and directed masturbation, personal or as a couple, are favoured.

Sensory targeting programs are carried out, which are a type of systematic desensitization, psychological therapy applied to the sexual sphere. In them, the person is exposed to sensual and sexual situations with increasing levels of difficulty and anxiety.

Finally, the erotic toy store, within which are mostly clitoral suckers and vibrating male masturbators.

    • How using a vibrator ruined my sex life

Based on the above, it can be said that anorgasmia has long been culturally and scientifically considered a sexual dysfunction of women, although it has been seen that this is not the case and that men can suffer it too.

Based on the question we asked ourselves about whether it is a health problem or not, we can say that for it to be considered a problem, two essential characteristics must be given: that orgasm does not occur despite having adequate sexual stimulation and causing distress to the person.

If you are in doubt, but you do not meet these two requirements, then it is probably not for you.

* Cristina Guerra Marmolejo is a nurse and sexologist, and professor of teaching and research at the Department of Nursing and Podiatry at the University of Malaga. His article was published in 


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