Deep down, why do we explode so much when our children whine, argue, or oppose us?
We function like a bathtub.
The bathtub is our “Stress capital”.
Let’s imagine that this “Stress bath” has a capacity of 100L.
The “Stress bath” is fed all day, all week:
- We get up exhausted, because the little one woke us up 3 times during the night: + 20 liters of stress.
- We are late for work: +10 liters
- We are angry with our spouse because we are still going to manage the shopping and the children this evening alone (without daring to tell him): +30 liters
- Our boss takes us on a file during a work meeting: +15 liters
- We don’t have time to eat properly at noon: +5 liters
- We forgot the cuddly toy from the nursery: +10 liters
We go home in the evening… with already 90 liters of stress.
And it is there that the children bicker, because the little one has dared to take one of the toys of the big one in his hands.
Boom: +10 liters.
The bathtub overflows.
Result: We explode, we scream, they scream.
We tend to blame the last drop that causes the tub to overflow:
The behavior of our children.
But it is not that the last drop.
It’s only the trigger of our outbursts.
Not the cause.
The real causes of our over-reactions are all the liters of stress accumulated during the day or during the week.
(Some tubs don’t even have time to drain overnight.)
What happens when the “stress bath” overflows?
It’s the panic.
We are passing in survival mode.
Everyone has a survival mode.
And it still works the same way.
In survival mode, these are our automatic mechanisms who are on their way.
These mechanisms are defense reactions, which we do not control.
So what to do with this tub of stress?
To avoid explosions, there are therefore two things to do:
- Reduce the filling of your “bathtub”to deal with overflow: ie to reduce daily stress.
- Observe and work on automatic mechanisms (moments of explosion) to understand what they have come to say about us, and no longer suffer them.
You can tomorrow take a sheet and a pencil and write down everything that is going on in you:
- How is my bathtub powered?
- What happens inside (thought, feelings, emotions…) and outside (situation, environment…) when I explode?
The more you identify and understand your sources of stress, the less influence they will have on you. Step by step :
- You will have a clearer, global vision of these situations where you explode.
- You will understand how your automatic mechanisms protect you and/or keep you at a distance from your fears and your unmet needs.
- You will discover new facets of yourself, and regain the power to choose your behavior.
- And… detach yourself, calm down, accept yourself, evolve…
The “Imperfect… and proud of it” program accompanies you step by step throughout this journey. To deeply soothe you, a little more every day.
Click here to subscribe to “Imperfect… and proud of it”
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The program is guaranteed “Satisfied or 100% refunded” for 14 days.
You take no risk in doing the exercises on the causes of your stress and the origin of your automatic reactions which are at the beginning of the program…
And decide if it suits you, or not.
Take care of yourself,