The Basque sexologist Laura Moran thus refers to the promise in vogue these days of reaching the female orgasm in two minutes, especially using so-called clitoral suckers.
At a time when figures point to an increase in sales of sex toys, we spoke with the author of the book “Orgas (myths)” about how revolutionary these gadgets really are and the impact they can have on our sexuality.
“Actually, we should not be in a hurry, unless you have to reach orgasm in two minutes because your house is burning,” he tells BBC Mundo in his frank and direct style in an interview.
“Time has to be left out of the equation of sexual relations. That you climax in 2 minutes, wonderful. That you do it in 20, great. That you do not succeed, because the next time it will be ”.
According to reports from sex shops and consultants, during the pandemic there has been a considerable increase in the sales of sex toys in many countries, which is attributed to the lack of options since there is more time. But is there really?AND Is more attention being paid to privacy?
Not being able to go out, work at home and save transportation time have meant that during confinement many people and couples, those who met the appropriate conditions of space and privacy, attend the sexual part in a way that they had not been able to before.
Now, in the countries where we have come out of quarantine, I would like to believe that those couples continue to find time to pay attention to pleasure.
That they are getting it, I’m not sure.
I myself am overwhelmed with work. So I suspect we have brought the old stressors back to the new normal.
One of the best-selling toys in several countries are those known as “suckers.” Although it is a gama what has been on the market for years, recently has broken in with force. For what is this? Is pure marketing?
I am one of those who prefer to call them stimulants, because if not people imagine what they are going to do slurp, like a kind of suction cup or vacuum cleaner.
Indeed, already before boom Of these devices, there were external clitoral stimulators that were added to a traditional vibrator designed to be inserted.
And there were also what in my house we called the “love balls”, pile-size vibrators, very small, to stimulate the glans of the clitoris.
Sucker manufacturers have erupted with a brutal campaign, taking advantage of the fact that women are less and less afraid to talk about masturbation.
His success, I have no doubt, has been pure marketing.
It coincides, as you say, that many women have begun to speak naturally and ppublicly sabout masturbation. There are even those who claim that a paradigm shift is taking place. What do you think?
I agree. We are facing a possible paradigm shift, but from something that began many years ago.
In the sexual revolution of the 60s and 70s the vindication of female sexual pleasure began to be included in the equation.
What happens is that the feminine pleasure enjoyed by the work and grace of the phallus or your partner was vindicated. We had a right to feel, but we depended on that pleasure from someone else.
Now, with sex toys that do not have a phallic shape and that are not to penetrate, that are made by and for the clitoris, we can speak of a paradigm shift.
And it is the reflection of a social change, and of the struggle of feminist movements.
If society had not been prepared to embrace these types of toys, they would have been a fiasco.
Who promote the suckers They say that with them you can reach orgasm in two minutes. It is not clear to me if it is good or bad, if it contributes to the sexual revolution of women or just the opposite.
Time must be left out of the sexual relationship equation. That you reach an orgasm in two minutes, wonderful. That you do it in 20, great. That you do not succeed, because the next time it will be.
It seems to me a mistake to sell orgasm in 2 minutes, especially for those women who have not had the opportunity to experiment with their sexuality alone.
It takes them to have that expectation since then they ask themselves: “What happens to me if in the ad they say …? What happens to me if my friend says … and I don’t get it?”
I think that having objectives of duration, frequency, number of orgasms is always counterproductive, because each person is different. There are as many sexualities as there are people, and in this of orgasms too.
Being able to reach orgasm quickly is something that has traditionally been attributed to men. Is it becoming evident that the female body has a capacity for pleasure that was not known? Or is it rather that the myth that women need foreplay is being broken?
Women are not slow to reach orgasm. In fact, we can do it on average in four minutes if we scratch where it itches.
And we have had the ability to experience that pleasure before the sucker.
I do not want to take away the credit, but I do not want to take it complete, because it does not correspond to him.
On the preliminaries, the problem is not what they encompass, which ranges from an invitation to dinner to oral sex, but what the concept implies.
The preliminary is defined as the warm-up that a woman needs to desire intercourse, penetration. But penetration is not the technique by which a woman reaches orgasm more easily.
If someone is having intercourse with me from Black & Decker – a famous brand of drills – for 30 minutes and the clitoris is not stimulated, I am not going to climax with or without foreplay.
Women don’t need preliminaries. What we need is to practice sexual techniques or positions that we find pleasurable.
Oral sex is not a preliminary, it is sex. Masturbating each other is not a preliminary, it is sex. Intercourse is one more technique.
I don’t think fast pleasure is an advantage to sell.
Actually, we should not be in a hurry, unless you have to reach orgasm in 2 minutes because your house is on fire.
In the case of men, in fact, reaching a climax in two minutes is even frowned upon. It is considered premature ejaculation.
But are we really prioritizing express pleasure? Is it something that is happening?
Advertising seems to encourage us to do so. It’s the fast food of sex: like the fast food, he fast sex.
I don’t think it’s a good way to live it, because besides the rush, the anguish, the anxiety that having to do it quickly is the main enemy of arousal and orgasm.
It seems something inseparable from the logic of a fast-paced society, the optimization of time applied to sexuality: two minutes of pleasure and ready for the next task …
Yes, it responds without a doubt to the accelerated rhythm with which we live, in which we have to be authentic superwomen.
In the list of things that women who work inside and outside the home, go to the gym, take care of themselves, have a social life, aesthetic care by and for themselves, there is also sexual pleasure.
And, of course, this sexual pleasure that we count by orgasms has to be agile and fast, because we don’t have time to dedicate ourselves to getting it without haste.
It is not surprising to think that the express orgasm is a consequence of everything in our life being express.
The question is to give yourself time to feel, to enjoy, to find out what your erogenous zones are, what sexual technique excites you the most and live it.
If you need five minutes, great. If you need 50 and you have them, too. Nor do all of our sexual encounters always have to follow the same patterns.
And about what some say, that we are heading towards an increasingly robotic, more dehumanized sexuality, what do you think?
I think they are confusing having a blender, the device that makes you puree, with which you are going to get married or have an erotic relationship with her.
I love the blender because it is capable of chopping vegetables in a way that could not be achieved otherwise, but that does not make it go to substitute a human being with it.
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