Like many other aspects of a woman’s life, menopause also affects intimate relationships. Why is sex at this stage no longer the same?
No need to worry about your period, getting pregnant or having to take care of your children, sex life in menopause It should be stellar, right?
But the truth is that, in the same proportion that benefits come, obstacles appear, and what you have to accept is that having the same sex when you were 20 or 30 years old it could change.
“While there may be more freedom in the home, this is also a stage of life with many changes that can affect privacy”says the doctor Chris Kraft, director of clinical services at the Sex and Gender Clinic from the Johns Hopkins Medicine department of psychiatry.
“At this stage, women redefine their roles as children go to college and work is reduced. And there are also the physical changes ».
Why sex after menopause is not the same?
One of the first effects that you can notice is the loss of sexual appetite.
This is because estrogen levels drop dramatically from the start of the menopause (when you haven’t had a menstrual cycle in 12 months) and in previous years, called perimenopause.
This change can decrease desire and make it difficult for you to become aroused. It can also make the vaginal canal less elastic and make you experience dryness, which results in intercourse painful or uncomfortable.
Also, with age you are more likely to experience health problems. Chronic illness and injury can deplete your energy, cause physical pain, and change body image, which also affects sexual desire.
On the other hand, as you get older, blood fills your genitals more slowly as you become aroused, which means it doesn’t have the same sensitivity, and reaching orgasm takes longer.
In these cases, more direct and intense stimulation of the clitoris is necessary. “Doing things like rubbing and touching instead of penetration may be what you like most at this stage of life”, He says Kraft.
“And that’s fine. You have to stop thinking about what others are doing and just think about what is good for you and your partner.
More than a third of women in perimenopause, or who are postmenopausal, experience sexual difficulties, from a lack of interest in sex to problems with having an orgasm.
A natural process
Despite what the media and prescription drug advertisements lead us to believe that sexual intercourse in recent years is just as or more pleasurable than when you are young, the reality is that as the years go by, sex can become less pleasant, so it is completely normal and natural for you to slow down with your partner and spend your time alone for more activities outside the bedroom.
That does not mean that you will not be intimate with your partner again, remember that sexuality is a human physical and emotional need, so you can always use lubricants, vaginal moisturizers or prescription medications to control the effects of menopause and enjoy this new stage.
“About a third of long-term couples do not have sex or have sex only occasionally. But they don’t necessarily consider it a problem. It is just where their relationships have evolved. “, Explain Kraft. “They do other intimate things that they enjoy, like hugging, sharing a bed and laughing together. And they are Happy”.
Nothing more important than communication
Communicating properly with your partner is the key to establishing realistic expectations about what they can do sexually and achieving good intimacy as they age.
“Living an overall healthy life, having good energy, getting enough sleep, being physically active, and eating well will go a long way in helping you focus and feel good about being intimate and sexual.”. aim Kraft.
Don’t forget that menopause is a natural process that we will all go through sooner or later. Do not let this stage dominate you and control your emotions.
If you consider it necessary, you can consult a doctor, who will help you with medicine to control the symptoms, or a therapist, to establish a good relationship with your partner and live your sexuality fully.